where does the time go?

i'm back! i don't actually know where i went but i wasn't here so i must have gone somewhere, right? actually i wish i had some great excuse for this long absence but in all all honesty i don't. i just don't manage time well.

i have been working a bit much lately and i when i get home all i want to do is curl up with my Kozy Shack Original Rice Pudding and pray there's an episode of House Hunters International on the tv.

so since posting last i have A) celebrated the Risen Christ B) got a second job at Athropologie and C) fixed my toilet.

Easter was good, i went to the vigil with my friends and there were 2 people being brought into the church that night and it was one of those moments in life when you could literally their lives change entirely and completely, like when the baptismal water hit their heads there was this huge weight lifted and everyone was so happy. it was really beautiful. i was actually scheduled to work Easter Sunday however after vigil i came back and celebrated a little with my friends and i just couldn't go in, i have occasional bouts of insomnia and i had been in the middle of these spells the past few days so i ended up calling in "sick" due to lack of sleep. it usually happens when i have to flip-flop between days and night shifts or i have been working a lot, i just get to the point where i'm so tired i can't even sleep. but it did make me so happy to have Easter off. and i wasn't alone, so it was a good day.

the job though, hmm. not a big fan of working retail. it does make me appreciate my career choice and it only confirms in my heart that i was truly called to be a nurse. i go to work happier knowing that i have an awesome job that makes me so happy. but i do dread the days when i have to go into work at Anthropologie, i just hate the whole flakiness of it all, people saying "oh you look adorable in those pants" when secretly i'm thinking "oh you look horrendous and you need to buy at least 5 sizes bigger to even hope to look non grotesque" my policy is if i can't honestly say that they look good in a piece of clothing then i comment on the color choice or the actual article of clothing and pray that they don't ask me more specific questions. i would recommend remembering this story next time you go to a store and ask the salesperson there if an outfit looks good on you! they do not have your best interest at heart, they are only trying to make money! if you think a shirt makes you look pregnant chances are it does so don't buy it!!! especially if that maternity looking non-maternity shirt costs $98!!!

and for those of you keeping tabs on this story, i got my toilet fixed today! i just flush it every time i see it now because i can. it's amazing how long i actually lived with it broken, i'd gotten so used to it i didn't even remember how convenient it was before when it worked and all i had to do was push down on the handle and voila! it flushed. i guess i should clarify that when it broke, the chain broke, so that meant reaching into the back of the toilet to lift the little thingy to manually flush it every time. not fun.

and last but not least Happy Birthday Kelly!

it was actually yesterday but because i'm a loser i didn't post anything yesterday. i slept most of the day, waking up at noon and then laying out in the sun for a while before i took a nap, so you can imagine i had very little time free to do something like post on my blog. in my defense it was my first day off in many days and i needed it. however all is fixed now, i have posted, i have called, and i have a flushing toilet.

What?

so i woke up this morning to this...when did this happen? i was in total shock. i didn't even know it was supposed to snow!

Working Girl

so by some oversight/horrible horrible mistake i was somehow scheduled to work 4 days straight this past weekend. not only that but the mistake was that i was actually supposed to work today instead of yesterday and so, even though yesterday was the fourth day in a row that i had worked they still expected me to come back today!! i had to spend an hour of my shift trying to find someone to cover for me today. luckily it wasn't too hard but it did take long enough that i started to get nervous and was on the point of a break down. but even still they are making me come in tomorrow and then i have to work on friday saturday and sunday which means in one week they're making me work 5 days in one week! i know people think i'm such a whiner right now because honestly 90% of the working world does 5 days a week, but i'm just not used to it and really this means that instead of the normal 36 hours that i'm used to working i'll be working 60+ hours. so yes, i am whining, and yes, that is obnoxious, so i apologize but really, is it all fair? it's not. in other news, my heat is still stuck on and i live in a sauna and now my toilet is broken. i just don't have time for these things to break!

Missions

So, as you know i went to Ecuador for 2 weeks. one week of medical mission work and the other week of just vacation. it was so amazing and has made me miss it so much. the minute i stepped off the plane i felt like i was back home. all the random things that i had forgotten about living there came rushing back, like how i couldn't just drink the water for fear of acquiring vichos, or how crossing the street becomes a sporting event rather than a simple action, what with all the darting and dodging of cars. or how an accepted mode of transportation is piling as many people as you can into the back of a pick-up truck. one event that happened right before i left was when my friend was dropping me off somewhere in the city and he took my on the back of his motorcycle... while talking on his cell phone...and running red lights...and driving on the sidewalk! all while passing a police officer! seriously, only in Ecuador could someone get away with this. but don't worry mom, i was wearing a helmet.

The week of medical work was awesome though, it always is. we went to the same city that we have been going to the last 4 years and many of the same communities that we have gone to before but every year is so different from the last. there are certain things that you can count on, how everyone will have A)Vichos (parasites), B)Scabies C)Ringworm and D)will want vitamins. that being the case we know that our biggest supplies will be vermox and vitamins along with creams for the scabies and ringworm. it's how the people will react to us that is so unpredictable. the number of hearts that were touched can't be counted, our lives were changed by them even more than theirs were changed by us. and it's always good, especially now during lent, to be reminded how many things in life aren't really necessary. like this woman here, this is her whole entire house. that's it. that's her bed, her kitchen, her "living" area...everything. and chances are she doesn't live alone. i am always so humbled when i see how much of the rest of the world lives and then think about how much i "think" i need. obviously we can all get by with just a little less than we already have.

there were so many children who touched my heart while i was there, i didn't want to leave the country (and almost wasn't able to!). i would really like to be able to go back in the next few years, after i get the proper nursing experience, and then get our clinic up and running. when i was working with operation smile and i got to help with that it was so awesome to see these lives changed and that's what our clinic is trying to become. we've got almost everything we need to start operating we're just lacking a few key things such as money, supplies ...and nurses. that last one was brought up more than once to me...i wonder what they could be thinking? actually that's not true they flat out asked me to stay, not even go back to the US to pack up my stuff, just stay. i was even promised a hudband, that was an awkward moment.

in other news, the heat is stuck on in my apartment and it is now a whopping 90 degrees. i have been wearing my bathing suit with all the windows open as a way of compensating and i seem to be losing the battle.

Escape from Ecuador

ok, so i actually was working on this blog before and then my computer froze and it erased everything. so as a matter of principal i refused to retype my work, however, i realize now that you may perhaps be wondering what became of me.

well i'm alive and back in the USA!

just barely though. turns out when i went to the country they entered me under my missionary visa (i used to live there hence the visa) they neglected to tell me this though. here i thought i was happily traveling as any other american citizen when in truth i wasn't, i was being slowly drawn deeper and deeper into their deceitful web of bureaucracy and red tape.

To explain the situation that exists in Ecuador would take far to long, but basically when someone living in Ecuador, either a national or an ex-pat, or someone living there with a visa, would like to leave, they then need to take their censo (ecuadorian id card) and their permiso de salir (small piece of paper valid for one year, costing aproximately $12 when obtained illegally through a travel agent as i had done, that states the holder of said paper is allowed to leave the country) with them to the airport. at the airport they pass through the immigration line, show their valid passport, their censo, and their permiso de salir, and then are waived through.

to get back to my story, it was saturday night and i was back at the airport for my second attempt to leave the country. this time i was making excellent progress as i had my ticket and there was no delay in tonights flight. i felt as though it would be smooth sailing from then on. i was wrong.

i had gotten to the airport a bit later than the recommended time and so, was the last person in all the lines. there i was, standing in front of the immigration officer. i hand him my passport completely unaware that there could be any kind of problem, after all i was an american citizen. that american passport is like a golden ticket when traveling in and out of countries. then suddenly the officer turns to me and asks if i speak spanish, i tell him some, and he says to me while holding up my visa "where is your censo, where is your permiso de salir?" and i tell in, in bad but completely understandable terms, i do not have them because i was only here for 2 weeks on a medical mission trip.

he then tells me "you can't leave ecuador"

WHAT?!?! i think he must be joking, or at the very least looking for some kind of bribe, but he calls another officer over to verify the fact with them that since i have an ecuadorian visa that is still valid i need to have my censo and permiso to leave the country

i think, that's it, i know how hard it was to get those papers in the first place, a task to difficult to be attempted twice, especially now that i wasn't even living in the country. i might as well start looking for an apartment and resign to the fact that i was going to have to live here forever. then i decided to call my ecuadorian friend in one last desperate attempt to leave. so i call and i frantically tell him "THEY WON'T LET ME LEAVE!!!" and then had the cell phone over to the immigration police.

i don't know what exactly was said but in the end my friend put his mother-in -law, who evidentally knows importnant people in the immigration world, on the phone and whatever she said was persuasive enough for the officer to hand me back my passport, tell me i was in huge trouble if i tell anyone about this, and then waives me through.

so i made it back, got back on sunday and then monday morning was back at work. today was laundry/taxes day and i'm proud to say that i got both accomplished. i know from previous experience that it's not a good idea to let clothes that had been previously worn in humid weather while riding a donkey through knee deep mud sit in a closed suitcase for too long.

STILL in Guatamala

Ok, so as much as i do love Ecaudor the past 24 hours have been a little trying to my soul. i was supposed to leave this beautious country last night at 9.55 pm however there was some kind of delay and the flight was rescheduled to fly out at 2 am. i felt it was in my best interest to go stay with my friends rather than to hang out at the airport for the next 6 hours waiting for a flight which may, or may not, ever leave. once arriving at the aforementioned friends home i then contacted a representitive of the airline to see if it would be possible to either switch my flight to another day or get a better idea of when the fly would truly be leaving Quito. this representive informed me that there was no space on any flights until tuesday at the earliest so i decided that i would just fly out that night whenever my flight was supposed to leave. i asked this kind man if he would find out for me why the flight was delayed and when exactly it was going to leave. he put me on hold for an eternity and then came back to tell me that there were mechanical problems in atlanta and the plane had not even taken off from atlanta and so it would be delayed until at least 4 am maybe 5. he did tell me that i should call at 1am just to check and then last minute he says ´let me write a note on your itinerary just so that in case the flight does leave then they will know that i advised you to wait where you are until 1 and then call´
well i set my alarm for 1 am and call at the appropriate time only to find out that my flight was leaving in half an hour sin yo! i nearly had a heart attack. they told me the only thing i could do was call their 1-800 number in the morning and reschedule a flight. keep in mind they told me everything was booked through tuesday. well this morning i did call and spoke with a woman who was none to gracious and told me that i would have to purchase another flight becuase i was not at the airport. i explained to her that i was advised to stay where i was by a representative of THEIR airline. she then says ´well fine, what´s your name and i will look up your booking´ i gave her my name and she put me on hold for an even longer time than the first guy and she finally comes back and says oh so sweetly, ´you´re all set to fly out tonight, have a great flight´
i accredit the ease of all this to te multiple rosaries i was saying before i went to bed, this is one of those times where i can clearly see the hand of God working in my life!
so i will post again once i return to the where all computers have apostrophe buttons and quotation marks and i will share my photos and the many stories i have from my few weeks here.

Guatamala Times

I do apologize to everyone, evidentally i need to explore the links i post, i never saw anything truly offensive (other than a full grown man in green tights) but i didn{t investigate further, hence the deletions of his link. i am currently still in guatamala so i need to go, i will post some less offensive material shortly, i promise.

Never Never Land

i was sent this link quite some years ago by my favorite cousin, how she found it i have no idea, and in cases like these probably best not to ask. but however it was, she kindly then forwarded it on to me. and now i in turn feel that it's only right to share the peter pan man with those of you who have not yet met him. there's many excellent pictures and apparently he creates music as well. i haven't been able to listen to any as my computer is not allowing me to, and i don't know enough about computers to know if it's mine computer or his that's not functioning correctly.

in other news, i leave tomorrow for Ecuador. i'll be gone for 2 weeks but i'm sure i'll have plenty of stories on my return. i promised my manager at work that i would kind of journal my medical mission trip so that they could print it up in a newsletter at the hospital. makes me feel a little like a nerd or a suck-up. but i'm hoping if i do this then it will make it easier to gather supplies from the hospital throughout the year to send down to Ecuador later on.

that said i still need to pack, currently i have everything piled on the floor of my bedroom. now i need to sort through that and decide what actually should be packed and what should not. i mean, i know what i need for the week we're out in the jungle but then what? my friend and i haven't even decided where we're going after we get back to Quito so i don't know what kind of clothes to bring. and i don't want to be that girl that brings her entire closet for a 1 week visit. although to be honest, i am that girl. and i should probably clean my apartment before i leave too. and i have some last minute things to buy, like i want to bring cartoon band aids down with me for the kids because it really sucks to have to get a shot but if you can put an Elmo band aid on it after it somehow makes everything alright. and trust me, even Guatemalan children in third world countries feel the same way.

things that make me smile

it's just so beautiful.

Auto Repair 101

So this is how i fix cars. i don't even remember how long ago it was when i first discovered there was something wrong with my windshield wiper but i know it didn't take me long to "fix" it. i suppose the only thing that would have been better than wrapping a rag around the piece that's broken would have been to duct tape it. maybe next time.

i had a great weekend in Pittsburgh, lot's of family time. it was awesome. funny how you don't realize what words you use a lot until there's a small child around you at all times to mimic what you say. seems our family uses the word "awesome" quite a bit. i suppose it's better than many other words.

i've been checking my cousin Doug's blog a lot lately, he's on a motorcycle trip basically across the world. he started in Seattle and he's going to end in Argentina, i linked his blog so you can let him explain it better if you like. but i've been seeing all his pictures and it is making me miss Ecuador. i love South America and all it's randomness and craziness. i'm going back down for a short trip in a few weeks which i'm really excited about. i'll be on a medical mission trip for the first week and then myself and my friend who lived with me down there, are going to go on vacation basically. i haven't decided where we're going to go or what we're going to do, my only stipulation is that it has to be warm. (i know that sounds ridiculous seeing as we are going to the equator but it's actually very chilly in the mountains) if we had more time i'd say Galapagos, more time and more $$. it's insanely expensive to get out to the islands for someone who's not Ecuadorian and then there's all the rest that you have to pay for, when all i really want to do is get an awesome tan.

it's time to go get ready for work now, only 2 more night shifts to go till sometime in April. it's not that i don't like night shift, it can be fun. but it just throws your entire life off. i still have no idea when i should eat and how long i should sleep. and i always have to psych myself up for the night, convince myself that this shift is going to be awesome, and awesome it shall be.

what's new with you?

here i am in pittsburgh visiting my sister. nothing new or exciting happening, just wanted to let you know where i am and what i'm doing. yup, just here watching elmo for perhaps the 1000th time. my favorite episode is when elmo is in "lord of the dance"...but that's probably my own personal biases coming through.

the other day we went to the children's museum and my sister forced johnny to strip down to just a diaper and t-shirt under is raincoat to go play in the water room. i completely agreed with her because the last thing i wanted to do was carry a soaking wet child through the museum and across the parking lot after it was all done. but it just made me remember my own personal childhood humiliations, some of which refuse to be forgotten. (i am speaking of a certain incriminating photo that a specific member of my family had blown up and framed as art in her home). guess things never really change.

Ash Wednesday

so my mom sent me this link and i will be honest, i started bawling as soon as the music started playing. i'm linking both the video and the story because it's so beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM
it just makes me think of all the little kids i see everyday who are lying in bed all the time, in and out of the hospital. in general these kids have the most awesome families. i am always inspired by the love and patience that their parents have for them. how they can just give and give and never expect their efforts to be recognized or appreciated in a way that we, as people, want to be recognized or appreciated.
Today is Ash Wednesday, i've been trying to think of how i want to spend my Lent this year, i tend to go a little over board with my goals and make things a little unrealistic for me. this year i'm really trying to find a balance between how and when and where and what i should be sacrificing. i just always end up feeling guilty like i should be doing more than i am, because hey, Christ did die for me. I just think about how much Christ has done for us in our lives and continues to do and i feel like i'm not measuring up and i need to be doing more. the problem is that i start piling all these things on my plate telling myself i need to give up everything that isn't absolutely necessary to my existence and then i get frustrated that i can't follow through and then i give up. each lent i generally have to restart my Lenten plan at least 2 or 3 times. but i do so love that feeling at the end, when Easter finally arrives and there's no more fasting or abstaining. you really do feel like you just finished a race.
I need to go back to sleep now, i'm on nights for the next 2 weeks and i have to go in tonight. night shift isn't horrible, but it does mess with your head. i never know when to eat or sleep or get up. and it's always the harbinger of illness in me. in general i try to stay away from caffeine and just drink herbal teas while i'm on nights, and then i take lots of vitamins. i down Emergen-C like it's my job. this combo seems to keep anything from truly devastating my immune system. also i have the country of Ecuador and all it's 3rd world ways to thank, for really boosting my immune system in general. i figure if i can eat a week old chicken that's been sitting out on the kitchen counter for a week without getting sick than there's not a lot my digestive track can't take.

my blonde moment

as i drove home tonight and passed ambulance after ambulance and police car after police car (or rather they passed me). i couldn't help but think how this is the case every night and it made me so sad. because i already feel like DC is such a dangerous place to live and this just seemed to confirm it. and then i remembered.
I work at a hospital, on a campus that has 2 other major hospitals on it, next to other hospitals in the immediate area. and isn't the main purpose of an ambulance to transport patients to a hospital? yes, it is.

My aching feet

so it turns out that your feet can swell to approximately 3x's their normal size when you are either A)Pregnant or 2)working a 12 hour shift that somehow becomes a 14 hour shift. in either case it's really not pretty. i would take a picture to show you all, but i haven't shaved my legs in quite some time and i don't think the world is ready to see that, besides i might get kicked off blogger for posting objectionable content.
well i want everyone to be proud of me, i made it to mass today! it was such a feeling of accomplishment. it's very hard when you work a weekend shift to get off of the floor for an entire half an hour together becuase that means someone else has to watch all of your patients plus their own, that could mean one person taking care of 8-10 patients depending on how busy we are. so i worked super hard and got all my kids ready so that for 30 minutes straight no one had any needs and i could get off the floor. we have an african priest at the hospital who says mass and i love him, he takes the time to actually give a homily and he asks questions and expects responses, he challenges people to make changes in thier lives, makes it clear that there is a standard they are held to, without sounding judgemental. and he gets genuinely excited to see people in mass and makes everyone so welcome.
i must go to bed now, i feel a little naseaus (to tell you the truth it's because one of my families brought in a huge bag of chocolates right at the end of shift and i ate so many that i'm now sick and having flash backs to Easter 1988 when i ate my entire chocolate bunny in one sitting even though i wasn't supposed to and then proceeded to throw it all up.) but i need to feel better tomorrow because i have to go back and do this all over again.

Cheese, it's what's for dinner

Today was my day off, i had such good intentions for my day. I had such big plans. I was going to go to the gym (and get a membership), i was going to try to find out why exactly my "check engine" light keeps coming on in my car, i was going to clean my apartment, and i was going to research long range digital cameras. Most of that stuff didn't happen, I did buy a bottle of wine and some cheese. It was once i got back home that i realized that i didn't have any other food in the house. Lucky thing it's damn good cheese.
I did research the cameras and subsequently bought one, the Canon PowerShot S3 IS, i'll let you know how it works out. I think it's a family trait that once we make up our minds about something we don't see the need to wait to accomplish it. In some cases this can be a good thing, it could even be described as a go-getter/can do attitude, but in other cases it can be more to my detriment. Case in point this camera. Did i really research it enough? Is this really the camera for me? Did i find the best deal? These are questions i may never know the answers to. However, what's done is done and i'll be honest, i'm not going to do anything about it now that i own the thing. I did have the presense of mind to purchase the extended warranty, i say you never know when your parents are going to get drunk and throw your camera off a table, in which case it's a good idea to have coverage for that.
Oh and Kell, I have been thinking about the sewing machine, don't let me forget it next time i come for a visit. i'm thinking the next "craft" i should attempt is curtains for my apartment. Half the blinds are broken and those that aren't are an incredible shade of ugly.
Before i go though, i have to share this story from work, perhaps i blog to much about life at work but i feel like i need to tell these stories somewhere and at least this way you can scroll through the parts that bore you. Anyways, when i was at work last thursday for some reason i was given all the MR/MRCP kids on the floor (that's Mentally Retarded/Mentally Retarded Cerebral Palsy for those not in on the lingo) one of which was a 16 year old girl. Who when you looked at her seemed completely normal, in fact the night nurse didn't even realize she was particularly delayed, she just told me that our patient was a little bit slower than most kids her age, turns out she had the mental age of a 6 year old. Picture this, this black girl, so beautiful, sitting in a hospital bed by herself watching Barney, not just watching but singing along, doing the hand motions, and in general oblivious to the rest of the world around her. She told me that Barney is her favorite show, when i asked her if she watched it at home she told me no, because the other kids told her she was too big for it and they made fun of her and told her she should be hanging out with boys. I told her that's ok, she can watch Barney if she wants to, she's not to big for him, and she doesn't need to hang out with boys if she doesn't want to. Then we watched and sang along to Barney for the next half hour.
It was the highlight of my day.
When I got her all packed up to go I gave her some princess stickers and one of the Child Life workers brought her a "bratz" doll, i have never seen a smile so big in my life! She gave me a big hug and told me she'd miss me, somehow i believe her.

Let It Snow

Day 2 of my new life as a blogger. Things are going well i think, although i need to tell my sister about my blog. She is the one who encouraged me in the first place so it's only right that she should be told about it first.
So today my big accomplishment was making it all the way into work and not dying. You see it started snowing yesterday afternoon and through the night. So as i drove my small 4-door compact car down side roads and through major 5 lane freeways buried in snow i couldn't help but wonder, what i was doing? It had taken me 20 minutes to chisel the ice off my car and then another 10 to dig out my tires so i could get out of my parking spot, now the only thing left was to drive the 14 miles to the hospital through unplowed streets and freeways. Needless to say i was the only person out at 5:30 in the morning doing this. There were a few maintenance workers who were out plowing the sidewalks but they looked at me like i was insane. that one i already knew though.
I love working in a pediatric hospital, kids are so much better to work with than adults. I spent my whole day just playing with the kids, it was great. at the end of the day we got a tiny little guy transferred over to us from out NICU, he is adorable and oh so very small, only 4 lb's. i helped feed him and as i watched him eat i was so amazed out how something so tiny knew exactly what to do even though up until recently we'd been helping breathe.
It is now 9pm and past my bedtime so i should wrap things up. These 12 hour shifts really pretty much beat the crap out of me. one more day though, then i have a day off. what will i do with my 24 hours of freedom though? Most likely i will sleep, although that makes me feel a little lazy when i read my sisters or my cousins blogs and they talk about how they are always out running errands and cooking things, and sewing or knitting or in general being creative and creating cozy little homes. Oh well, maybe i'll do something crafty next time i'm off.

When it's time, it's time

So when I came home yesterday after a weekend trip to visit a friend in NYC, I looked around my small one bedroom apartment and thought to myself "i think it's about time to take down the Christmas decorations"

This past weekend was great, i had three whole days off in a row. that hasn't happened in some time so i took full advantage of it and got the heck out of town. Coming back was so hard though, and going back to work today was even worse. The worst part of the day was when the charge nurse came up to me and let me know that the weather was really bad outside and that the hospital was opening up an old unit so that employees could spend the night at the hospital. I didn't care how bad the weather was, there was no way i was going to sleep at the hospital. In the end, I finally made it home. It only took me an hour longer than it normally does but i'm here. Now i'm going to get some sleep because i have to go back and do this all over again tomorrow.