Ash Wednesday

so my mom sent me this link and i will be honest, i started bawling as soon as the music started playing. i'm linking both the video and the story because it's so beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM
it just makes me think of all the little kids i see everyday who are lying in bed all the time, in and out of the hospital. in general these kids have the most awesome families. i am always inspired by the love and patience that their parents have for them. how they can just give and give and never expect their efforts to be recognized or appreciated in a way that we, as people, want to be recognized or appreciated.
Today is Ash Wednesday, i've been trying to think of how i want to spend my Lent this year, i tend to go a little over board with my goals and make things a little unrealistic for me. this year i'm really trying to find a balance between how and when and where and what i should be sacrificing. i just always end up feeling guilty like i should be doing more than i am, because hey, Christ did die for me. I just think about how much Christ has done for us in our lives and continues to do and i feel like i'm not measuring up and i need to be doing more. the problem is that i start piling all these things on my plate telling myself i need to give up everything that isn't absolutely necessary to my existence and then i get frustrated that i can't follow through and then i give up. each lent i generally have to restart my Lenten plan at least 2 or 3 times. but i do so love that feeling at the end, when Easter finally arrives and there's no more fasting or abstaining. you really do feel like you just finished a race.
I need to go back to sleep now, i'm on nights for the next 2 weeks and i have to go in tonight. night shift isn't horrible, but it does mess with your head. i never know when to eat or sleep or get up. and it's always the harbinger of illness in me. in general i try to stay away from caffeine and just drink herbal teas while i'm on nights, and then i take lots of vitamins. i down Emergen-C like it's my job. this combo seems to keep anything from truly devastating my immune system. also i have the country of Ecuador and all it's 3rd world ways to thank, for really boosting my immune system in general. i figure if i can eat a week old chicken that's been sitting out on the kitchen counter for a week without getting sick than there's not a lot my digestive track can't take.